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Just a slip of the tongue

Just a slip of the tongue

I was among a group of old media colleagues the other day and the conversation got round to funny tales from our long ago. One denizen of the newsroom at Grampian Television recalled a tale about Reflections. You remember Reflections: two-minute homilies, usually presented by a minister, occasionally a priest, and very rarely by someone from another religion or […]

Wullie and Dode at the vet

Wullie and Dode at the vet

Wullie and Dode discovered one morning that another two of their pet rabbits had died in the night and that three more were looking poorly. “That’s it,” Wullie told Dode; “we’ve lost 45 rubbits this past fortnicht. We’d better mak an appointment tae see the vet.” The vet took them into the consulting room where […]

When funerals lift the spirits

When funerals lift the spirits

One of the depressing things about the years flying by is that you find yourself hauling the funeral suit out of the wardrobe more often than you used to. Mrs Harper has noticed this increasing frequency, too, and her theory now is that as soon the crisp white funeral shirt is ironed, someone else shuffles off the […]

Snappy answer for checkout operator

Snappy answer for checkout operator

My aunt was doing her shopping at the Buckie Lidl the other day and witnessed an exchange at the checkout that had everyone in the queue smiling at an object lesson in how to cool a young man’s heels. A woman in her mid-80s had manoeuvred her small trolley up to the till and had found she was dealing with […]

Wullie and Dode go to Japan

Wullie and Dode go to Japan

Wullie and Dode were researching their family tree and began hearing rumours that their late grandfather had been part of a Gordon Highlanders battalion dispatched to Japan after World War II. They also heard that the Gordons, including their granda, had enjoyed the company of many Japanese ladies and that, consequently, they likely had many Japanese-Scottish blood […]

Wullie and Dode's day out

Wullie and Dode’s day out

Wullie and Dode decided to leave the cares of the farm behind for a day and went for a run in their Morris Traveller. As they approached Huntly, they spotted a large sign at the end of a farm road: All your slurry problems fixed £40 an hour Cheese sandwiches £2 Wullie turned the Morris […]

Neep of the week

Neep of the week

Some people need saving from themselves. I’m thinking of Mr McArthur Wheeler, of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, who demanded money with menaces from one of his local savings banks. The staff were puzzled that, unlike most bank robbers, Mr Wheeler had made no attempt to disguise himself. He simply strode into the bank in full view of […]

Bitten lips of customer service

Bitten lips of customer service

You might have noticed a news story listing the 20 daftest complaints made by holidaymakers in the last year. These included someone who wanted a refund from a coach-tour company because “the guide was too ugly”; someone who went on a fly-drive to Germany and was upset that the road signs were not in English […]

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