Wullie and Dode at the vet


Wullie and Dode discovered one morning that another two of their pet rabbits had died in the night and that three more were looking poorly.

“That’s it,” Wullie told Dode; “we’ve lost 45 rubbits this past fortnicht. We’d better mak an appointment tae see the vet.”

The vet took them into the consulting room where Wullie lifted two very sickly looking rabbits on to the table.

“My goodness,” said the vet. “They’re certainly not in peak condition.” He examined the fur, the ears and the eyes. “Have you been using any chemicals on the farm that they might have ingested?”

“Nae nithing lately,” Dode said. “Is it serious?”

“Well, if you’ve lost 45 rabbits in two weeks, I would say it is fairly serious, yes. What are you feeding them?”

“Jist the leftowers fae fit we eat wirsels.”

“No proprietary rabbit food or fresh vegetables? Just your own leftovers? And what would those consist of?”

“Maistly toasted sandwiches,” Wullie said.

“Toasted sandwiches? For rabbits?”

“We’re nae made o money,” Wullie said. “If it’s gweed eneuch for us, it’s gweed eneuch for rubbits. Toasties hinna deen us nae hairm.”

“Yes, but there are better foods for rabbits,” the vet said. “What fillings are in these toasties?”

“Jist fitivver we’ve been haein wirsels,” Dode said.

“Sometimes cheese,” Wullie said. “Sometimes ham. Sometimes, tomata and cheese.”

“Sometimes tuna,” Dode said. “Sometimes chucken. Sometimes cheese and ham.”

“Sometimes tuna and cheese wi a bit chucken,” Wullie said.

“And a tomata,” Dode said.

“A mixture really,” Wullie said.

“A mix,” Dode said.

“A mix?” the vet said. “Well, there you go. That mix is the problem.”


“Your rabbits have got mixomatoasties.”

Filed Under: DoricFeaturedHumourScotland


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  1. Michael burton says:

    Best one yet keep them coming

  2. Margaret Young says:


  3. Avril Spence says:


  4. Allan Roberson says:

    Aaaaaaaaghhh. Noooooo.

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